Twenty One

Just turned twenty one the other day, that would matter except I HATE drinking and woo hoo one more year of life....(eye roll)

...Plus alcohol and anti depressants and such....bad, so they say.

Anyways, I was down, real down, heading into that same ol' darkness. I didn't want it to get that far and I refused to leave my psychiatrists office until he did something about the paralyzing anxiety that I felt every day, that I fought every day.

So I got yet another pill (not quite my favorite)

The good news: I feel like it may be working.

Hope...no. The makings of maybe some hope....yeah, sure. In any case my anxiety has gone down considerable, although I forget that its a twice daily pill. Two times a day is quite a commitment. ha!

Nonetheless, things seem to be going alright, I can make it through most days no problem, but every so often have a complete total "bipolar days"...or several.

I'm not going to just say that I am full of hope and happy flowers and butterflies and all other sweet, wonderful things... I'm just saying that lately things have been a bit easier handle.

I have said it before, but I am hoping this time I'm one month into forever stopping.

Twenty one is a perfect time to try and start new, healthier, but I am not calling it hope yet.