In the center of the storm of emotions I found myself on the search for good books to disappear into.
The books I wanted, though, were books associated with self harm topics, fiction and nonfiction.
I guess that I really wanted to learn about what was going on with me and find a bit of release within the pages also.
Here's what I mean, I would read a fictional book, like cut and several others, and someone it would save me from cutting in that very moment, even if that's what I wanted more than anything. I found that reading it was like I was living through the character. They cut and I'd feel it. Not literally of course, but the action in the book let me live through it. That way I didn't do it to myself in that moment.
When it comes to nonfiction books, I just want to understand. Obviously I know a lot more than most of you out there who don't self harm in anyway, but still, I didn't know enough. Why was I cutting my skin? Was I alone? What was the reason I went there? Well as I read through some books I learned a lot. Although it isn't all crystal clear for me, I have a bit of a better understanding of my actions.
Point being, I am going to suggest a book to you guys. If you don't self harm then this book is great for you to learn a bit, get into the heads of "cutter". If you do harm, this book will help put some insight into your struggles, also has a ton of stories of people all over the world and all ages who know exactly what we are going though. (IF YOU ARE EASILY TRIGGERED I DON'T RECOMMEND THIS BOOK, SOME OF IT GETS GRAPHIC. HOLD OFF AND READ IT WHEN YOU'RE READY)
So at the moment I am reading it a second time. It's called A Bright Red Scream By Marilee Strong.
If anyone is interested and wants to borrow it let me know, as long as I get it back no problem.
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