Saving Me Subtly

I know I have talked about God and my faith a few times on here, but I guess that when I feel something that has saved me in a moment that I really needed it, you could say it was God, that maybe its worth sharing. Maybe it will mean something to someone else.


This last week has been pretty tough. I have just been pulled so far down and I cant quite lift myself back up, but twice this week have I been saved from cutting. In little, probably insignificant, ways.


First, I had grabbed a razor at work, having full intentions of using it on myself when I was done with work. It was in my pocket all day, wrapped in its perfect little cardboard, waiting for me to unwrap it. I had about an hour left in the day and the guy I was working with asked if I had an extra blade, I'm not sure why he did since the car we get them out of wasn't that far from us, but I gave it to him anyway.


I was going to just get a new one from the car before I left, but they took the car and left before I ever got to it again. I was frustrated. I suppose that I shouldn't be angry with God or maybe it was just coincidence that saved me from cutting myself in the moment, but shoot, I had waited all day and I just needed to do it.


I didn't look for anything else. I didn't cut that day.


Second, I was cleaning up my room today. I was feeling pretty anxious, not really for any reason, but I was urged to hurt myself amongst it all. I hadn't thought about with what yet, but the idea was slowly growing in my head. I all of a sudden realized I was holding my angel penny. This penny, I have had forever, and I have never read what the paper said or had any care in the world about it. I don't even know where I got it.


So I sat down and read this paper. It read:


God's angel in a coin
Is just the ideal place
To remind you that
you're guarded
In each burden that
you face.

For living in this world
does not guarantee
that our lives are filled
with sunshine
Or our days are trouble-free.

So when ours are filled
with sadness
And we need someone to care
its so helpful to remember
that gods angels are aware...

Maybe its coincidence, maybe its God, maybe its just pure chance, I don't know, but nonetheless, it has helped me this week. Take it as it is and take what that paper said and put it into your own life, I think, personally, maybe I outta start caring that penny in my wallet.

ps sorry for the weird white highlight, not sure what happened, but I cant fix it.