The Roots

Families are like fudge - mostly sweet with a few nuts.  ~Author Unknown

I'd say that I am that nut, that one lone nut in the little square of fudge, some wish it wasnt there while others want more. Nonetheless, family has always been a huge part of my life. What in the world would I do without the crazy group of people who are my family. Therefore, I dedicate this post to the fam so that you, the curious reader, can get a better look into the roots of Sara Benson.

We will start with my mother, I like to simply call her "ma". My mother is a tough woman, one of those ladies who are little but you know you dont want to mess with because she would definitely kick some major butt. I have always looked up to my mom for her strength as well as her loving heart. Things got rough between my ma and I at the end of high school becasue of everything I was going through. It was one of those things I wanted to tell her and she kept asking what was up with me, but I couldnt do it, I couldnt tell her I wasnt ok, that I was weak and needed help. I am not sure I would say things are great between us now, but I think that things are better. Like any parent she just wants to help me, but isnt sure how to go about that. I dont blame her.

Next up is the dad. That is Richard Benson. He's mostly known for his height, people say "oh youre the big guys kid" or "i didnt know that big guy was your dad". He is also the contributor to my height and freckles. My dad and I arent close, but arent not close. Do you know what I mean? The relationship is neutral, it definitely has its ups and its major downs. Now, what most people dont know about my dad is that, for the most part, he is just a big softy. Dont tell him i told you, but he cries at shows and movies more than my ma and I combined. When my dad found out about my depression he cried, when he found out about the self harm he cried, when he found out I wanted nothing more than to be dead he cried, I dont blame him, but I hate people crying, especially because of me. Now, he just tries to help, maybe too hard sometimes.

My older sister is Meghan. She is 22 and just graduated college, woo hoo for her, huh?! I barely made it through my first year of college and there she is graduating. I wouldnt say that we are close, out of hundreds of photos on my computer this was the only one of two with both of us. We butt heads quite often and thats mostly due to the fact that we are pretty much polar opposites. She is loud, I am quiet; she is messy, I am organized; she isnt mentally ill, i am; she tries to be more sporty, Im artsy, you get the picture. As a whole our relationship is rough, but in the end we are there for each other no question, if I needed her she'd probably take awhile, but she'd get there for me, and if she needed me I'd drop everything for her (she wouldnt believe that) but she's my sister, if she doesnt have me she'd have no one.

That kid over there, the one with the glasses, he is trouble. He is one of my little brothers, his name: Justin. Justin started as a foster child in our home and a few years later we ended up adopting him. Fostering was fine, but adopting, keeping the kid forever? that was a whole new odd concept for me to comprehend. Justin started out as my mini-me, or so people say. He looked up to me and by the time he was in kindergarten he thought he could talk and act just like me. Problem with that is that that quarky charm works for me, for a five year old it just equals trouble. This kid is real smart, but he ruins it with his big mouth and lack of thinking before speaking. I guess my parents are working on it with him, or something.

My babiest baby brother is Matthew; age seven. Also adopted. You know that kid who has been told he is cute his whole life so he turns into a total tool? Well, Matthew is well on his way. Although, I do agree with everyone that he is super cute, he annoys the living day lights out of me. This kid has the biggest mouth and attitude I have ever seen is a seven year old. What DOES make him cute, though, is his need to tuck in his shirt and wear his pants high, now that makes him cute. Since Matthew was a baby he has been a worrier. When I went into the "hospital" aka the psychiatric hospital he worried every single day I was gone, asking me when I would be home everytime I spoke to my family on the phone. He's a good kid with a crap attitude.

As you can probably tell is that I am kind of the black sheep of the family. I have come to terms with that years ago and just call it character. Without me they would be pretty boring. Plus you know the saying "cant live with them, cant live without them"....