Coping: Staying Busy

Dear readers, I apologize for my absence from Just a Thought, I have spent the last week trying to figure out where I would like to go next, what you would like to hear. I decided since its such a big thing for the psych ward, psychiatrists, therapists, and generally everyone who knows my situation, that I would talk to you about coping skills, my coping skills to be exact.

While in the psych ward they made us write lists of what we would do if tempted to self harm. It got completely repetitive, and obviously mine never changed, but nonetheless the lists of alternative coping skills was pounded into our heads, in a positive, helpful way.

One of the big things is to stay busy. I guess if you're in motion and have a lot to do then you don't give your brain enough time to think about all the negative thoughts that inevitably cause you to want to harm.

That sounded all fine and dandy, but when I get busy I start to panic, will I be late, will there be a ton of people there, will I break down and cry mid busy, will I get that one moment where I can sneak off and pull out the razor that felt so safe in my bag, just waiting for me.

I think that right now I have gotten things kind of balanced out, but I still try to stay away from crowds as much as possible.

Mondays through Fridays I works with Evan, a low functioning thirteen year old autistic boy who I love. If anywhere in my life, working with him makes me feel important, like I am making an impact in this dumb world. Anyways, everyday after I leave Evan's I have something I need to go straight to, Mondays are small group, Tuesdays are young adult church service, Wednesday is working at the church with young kids, and Thursday is coaching basketball practice with my first and second graders, Fridays are free, Saturdays I spend my entire day at the church for numerous basketball games, and Sunday I just have church.

Obviously rushing one to the next makes me panic a bit, but when I get there I am just glad I made it. The key is to just let yourself be busy, let yourself not be stuck alone thinking bad thoughts and wanting to hurt yourself, being alone is the worst in those situations.

I encourage any readers to find something that keeps them busy, even once a week. Sometimes that one thing can be that one thing that makes your week, brings that surprise smile to your face, make you feel built up for awhile. Just find something.