I was watching a television show the other day and someone asked "what comes next? What comes after all of this?"
I found myself asking the same question, what comes next. I suppose first I need to figure out what "healthy" is.
What happens when you heal and are healthy and things are good? What do you do when that urge you have been dying to get rid of is gone, when you actually want to be alive, when depression isnt controlling your life.
I dont think I know how to live without it. Its been so long, its controlled me for so long.
I believe you will re-learn how to live, much like a person who suffers an incredible loss learns to live with that loss. A friend of mine lost her baby before he was born. She described a similar process. She commented that the hurt and memory and experience doesn't go away, but it becomes part of who you are and you learn how to live differently because of what you've gone through.
ReplyDeletebecky