So, I have been swishing this thought around in my head for the last couple days. It's a simple question; what is recovery?
It seems easy to say you make it through, you make it, plain and simple.
Dictionary.com defines recovery as restoration or return to health from sickness.
Alcoholism.about.com says a voluntarily maintained lifestyle characterized by sobriety, personal health, and citizenship.
And as I read about what people classify as recovery I read this article; http://articles.latimes.com/2011/dec/22/news/la-heb-recovery-20111222 which shows what researchers have developed as a formula to classify recovery.
I read many other articles and studies to try to get to the bottom of this word everyone uses, and I really found that no one really knows.
People make up their definitions for the word and an equation isn't really a way to scale recovery, I don't think.
So, here's where I stand....clueless. what am I striving towards? I don't necessarily think I'll ever recover from self harm. It will always be there, it doesn't go away. Also, I don't understand recovering.
People who are recovering are obviously thriving to be recovered, but do they know when they get there? How do you know if you're recovered, just one day it hits you and BAM you're healed, you're recovered...
Some would say that I'm in recovery, but I don't know if I agree with that. I don't know where I'm heading to qualify as recovered. I know that recovery is bullshit when I sat there and gave in to the blade yesterday, so am I no longer in recovery even?
It's all just a blur and I don't know what addicts are working towards, the addiction never goes away, it just becomes easier for you to fight, but you could always give in and fall right back down.
So how do you recover?
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